The Narcissist's Magic Trick
Escaping the Illusion of Love, One Harsh Truth at a Time
There are people who don’ need fists to bruise you. All they need is time, charm, and access to your heart. Ever questioned your worth after giving to someone?
Narcissists, or magicians as I’d like to call them, are greatly under-discussed as the effects of them are quite loud and disastrous. Suddenly you are putting your life back together, not realizing how it even got so dysfunctional.
The essence of a magician is to get the audience to believe the act they are performing before your eyes is what it is.
Understanding powerful psychology, narcissists, unfortunately, use their knowledge for misdirection and manipulation. The one perk about the magician is that you paid for the show, and when it’s over, you can go home. Narcissists, however, are attracted to strong, confident, well-assured people, so, navigating the disordered individual and their antics can become a game you didn’t realize you signed up for even with the strongest individual.
Depending on your relationship with the narcissist, maintaining a relationship with this individual could be debilitating and derail your life and mental health.
“Hurt people hurt people.”
This isn’t some profound quote, but it gives a simple explanation of the narcissist’s behaviors. I know there may be a desire to have empathy for people who are hurting, however, that’s just the trap. Narcissists are 100% aware they are ill-intentioned. Unfortunately, the love and grace that you embody are what they are looking to deplete you of because they don’t possess any within themselves. Narcissistic people are deeply wounded and need professional help. Wounds so deep you may never understand, and while you may want to, I believe it’s in your best interest to distance yourself as far as possible. Not because you don’t love them, but because they don’t love themselves.
Engaging with anyone who is exuding destructive habits to themselves or to others is a disservice to your growth. You will receive the exact opposite of what you want when dealing with a narcissist. I hope that my advice isn’t found callous, I’ve personally witnessed the harm the disorder can do to many people. I understand it’s a lot to consume but if you feel that you are entangled with a narcissist: you are not alone and there is a different side to life. From the bottom of my heart, I am encouraging you to source other communities if you want to see the most fulfillment out of your life. These communities can be in, but not limited to healthy church organizations, educational institutions, well-established work environments, volunteering organizations, local organizations, recreational activities, and even specifically: Eventbrite. Never underestimate what relocation can do for you and your future, the environment that you are in now is not the only environment to exist.
“When we meet and fall into the gravitational pull of a narcissist, we are entering a significant life lesson that involves learning how to create boundaries, self-respect, and resilience. Through trial and error (and a lot of pain), our connection with narcissists teaches us the necessary lessons we need to become mature empaths.” ― Mateo Sol
This quote hit home, as there are many learning opportunities to learn all of these things in life, however, it’s unfortunate and hard that all of these lessons from one person, it can make you feel like you can’t trust people; it may even feel like you can’t trust yourself. I cannot stress enough how deeply difficult it is to release yourself from the narcissist because I promise you it will be worth it. There are communities out there that will embrace you, pour into your cup, and show you a new side of life. Some of these communities can be virtual, in-person, community-based, or 1o1, you have to commit to doing even when it gets rough. But nothing is worse than living under a narcissist, especially, because it’s optional.
“You will never really see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresher air.” — Unknown
You are the only one in control of releasing yourself from narcissism. If and when you decide to, I can guarantee you, the weight that will be lifted off your shoulders will be a moment you will always remember.
Life is meant to be lived, and you deserve to release yourself from the abuse that you know exists. I hope you find it in yourself to set yourself free.
Below are some resources I found beneficial to help learn the signs and receive help to those who feel they are engaging with a narcissist under difficult circumstances:
The Crappy Childhood Fairy was created by Anna Runkle, who helps people navigate their childhood PTSD symptoms. Anna offers many different resources, including strawberry letters she reads aloud on YouTube, there you will be able to listen to others’ real stories and have the opportunity to cultivate a community that is healing with you. While she is not licensed, I find her strawberry letters to be intriguing.
I hope you find value in these resources. I hope you use them, and I hope they work.